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Doug Wintch: Music

Nail on the Head

Based on a mishap that made national news in June of '08...I read the article on my birthday, and it felt like the perfect gift.  Sorry George!  But, thank you George!  I knew there was a song in there, just waiting to be hammered to speak.  I may have embellished things a little, but not much. The surgeon really did make a call to the maintenance department for a claw hammer. Being a professional, he knew the right tool for the job...

Nail on the head...nail on the head

In the Kansas City Star I read

An old fix it man by the name of George

Crawled under his deck to nail up a board

The dang air hose, tangled up with a toy

His buddy yanked on it...boy oh boy

It stuck out a little...but never even bled

When George hit the nail on the head

George nailed a ball cap...right to his brow

Got it all lopsided...wouldn’t straighten no how

His buddy called the ambulance...send one now

His wife meanwhile...she was having a cow

George said, I’m fine...darlin’ don’t be pissed

Least you’ve got a place to hang my honey do list

Sharp as a the day they were wed

When George hit the nail on the head

     Nail in the skull...nail in the brain

     Just missed the anterior cerebral vein

     Doc Pullman was attending...And caused a litle clamor

     He said, get me Bessie Lou, we need a bigger hammer...

     Interns were outraged, nurses wouldn’t have it

     Doc said, have faith...I remodeled my cabin

     Now call down to maintenance...Fred knows what to do

     Tell him to bring Bessie Lou...( he whistled while he waited...)

Fred rushed in with an Estwing Framer

If there’s a prettier surgical instrument, I dare you to name her

Doc slid Bessie’s claws...round the nail into place

Then he braced both feet...against George’s face

He counted to three...and gave a workman’s tug

Like popping the cork...on a whisky jug

The place fell apart, when George sat up

And said Doc, you got hit the nail on the head

Nail on the head...nail on the head

I can’t believe...what I just read

When you think about how it might’ve gone instead

Eyesight, speech, heck, he could’ve been dead

In surgery and keep your cool

You don’t get flustered, you get the right tool

Here’s to Doc Pullman...way to be Fred

George, watch for the nail...careful with the nail...

That’s your very last...nail on the head...